Bad Songs
The bad song of the month is actually from last spring. The #1 song in Great Britain was not really a song. It was a download ring for your cell phone. Crazy Frog's Axel F. (I do remember Axel F from Miami Vice and maybe one of the Beverly Hills Cop movies.) Click Here To Listen. Click Here For Music Video From The Album. You know, I just love the poetry and artistry of the lyrics, beautiful. Such deep meaning that can be interpreted different ways.

Tryon University Goes Back To School
Have you seen the late, great Rodney Dangerfield's movie, "Back To School"? Well, your very own Mr. T spent a week, attending class at the University Of Iowa this past July and it wasn't pretty. Years older than anyone else in the class, (including the instructor) the faculty of Tryon U was ordered, eh told, eh asked to take an AP US History class/workshop so he can teach the AP US History students this year. The class ran about 7 hours a day for 5 days. There were 9 other schools represented, Nevada was the smallest. You college students, I feel your pain. It was tough being lectured at by so many elite intellectuals in the academic world. They are so bitter and the consensus in class was to totally agree with the revisionists. Points of view were based on feelings, not logic or facts. Well, good luck in college, I do feel your pain. I suggest listening to your parent's point of view, (they have a real job in a real world) on various issues. They also have your best interests in mind and are not trying to mold your thinking. Think for yourself. Needless to say, it became a long week.

This Summer's Controversial Supreme Court Ruling
The United States Supreme Court ruled this summer that the government can take YOUR private property away for PRIVATE purposes. What? They said a city can take land/property and then sell the land to a casino or hotel complex or any other private corporation. The reasoning is for the greater good. The new hotel will create more tax revenue for the city and thus the city can help out more people. This is totally new. Yes, the US Constitution says the state has the power of eminent domain. They may take private land for a public use, such as a highway or railroad. (they do pay, but you must sell). Now, they can take it for private use. the ruling was 5-4. Justice Saundra Day O'Connor wrote a furious response and it may have contributed to her retirement. Numerous cities have announced plans to take private property away from private citizens for yacht clubs, waterfront hotels or downtown improvement....geeze. One group is planning on taking Supreme Court Judge Soutar's home in New Hampshire and making a park out of it, complete with bed and breakfast. (He was one of the 5 judges voting for this ruling.)

Sad News A Few Weeks Ago
One of my all time favorite TV shows was Get Smart, starring Don Adams. Well, he passed away after fighting cancer. It was a great show that was a satire on all of the spy movies of the 1960s. It was written by Mel Brooks. Adams played agent 86 and had a love interest (Barbara Felton) as agent 99. He was famous for talking into his shoe phone, using the cone of silence and matching wits with CHAOS, who were trying to take over the world. This was during the Cold War, so spies were everywhere in TV and the movies. You may have seen it on some reruns, but it is one of the few TV programs that had quality writing. "Would You Believe?" was one of his trademarks. The Austin Powers movies have tried to copy this. Click Here For Theme Song.

This Guy Was Allowed To Enter The USA?
Ok, I am not a trained, airport security guard or customs official and I am sure I would not want to be accused of profiling, but this guy was let into the country? On April 25, on the USA-Canadian border, Gregory Despres (22) arrived at Calais, Maine carrying a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chain saw stained with what appeared to be blood. You know, when I travel, I always find a way to bring my chain saw. Gosh? Suspicious? or is it just me? His weapons were confiscated and he was finger printed by customs agents. Then they let him into the United States!!

The following day, a gruesome scene was discovered in Canada, in his hometown. The decapitated body of a 74 year old country musician named Frederick Fulton was found on his kitchen floor. The head was in a pillow case under the kitchen table. His wife was found stabbed to death in the bedroom. Gregory Despres immediately became a suspect. (great detective work?) He had a long history of violence and for pulling a knife on people and threatening them. They found and arrested him as policemen noticed a man wandering down a highway in Massachusetts, wearing a sweat shirt with red and brown stains. He is now in jail and awaiting an extradition hearing next month. He was questioned for 2 hours at the border but could not be detained because he is an American citizen. The customs officials said, "Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up...We are governed by laws and regulations, and he did not violate any regulations." Makes you kind of sleep pretty soundly, now, doesn't it? Aren't we at Code Orange or something?

Hurricane Katrina News Reports Were WAY OFF
No? Really? The press was not accurate? The news from New Orleans was extremely inaccurate to say the least. Even the Des Moines Register had an article (appearing only once) how all of those reports were basically false and exaggerated. The media blamed it on poor communications. Some examples of what the press reported:
* It will take months for the water to rescind.
* All of the crime, murders and rapes in the Super Dome. (The reporters, because of a lack of communication, would not go into the Dome and just reported the unconfirmed, exaggerated rumors from evacuees. It did not happen).
* The water in the streets included sharks swimming, eating the dead.
* The basement of the Superdome was full of dead, floating bodies. (there were none)
* 10,000 to 20,000 were killed. (Last count was 986 in Louisiana)
* It will cost AT LEAST $250 Billion for the federal government to clean up just Louisiana. (latest est. $150 Billion for the entire Gulf area)
* Snipers were shooting rescue workers and armed gangs were killing each other like in a Mad Max movie.
(6 people died of gunshot wounds and they think most of them were accidents. This is a lower number than a typical         weekend in New Orleans.)
* The Super Dome will NEVER be used again and will be bulldozed. (Now they plan on a 2006 re-opening)
* The water is so toxic it will lead to terrible diseases. (Authorities were shocked at how non-toxic the water was.)
* The Federal government blew up the levees on purpose because they no longer wanted to pay for benefits to the New Orleans poor. (This rumor is still floating around)
The press ripped into FEMA for not showing up soon enough, but at the Senate hearings, FEMA said the reports of all of the violence (by the media) kept them from sending their workers to New Orleans because of safety concerns......hmmmm....Now the press is giving each other awards for their great Katrina coverage....It's a beautiful thing.

The New Word Is.....UBER
According to J.Walter Thompson, the world's oldest advertising agency and America's largest, the new slang word that is sweeping our culture is uber. It means like the best, greatest, totally awesome, cool, far out, groovy, extreme, sweet, chill, rad, psychedelic, awesome thing around. It will replace extreme as THE word. In a new book, The Future Of Men (written by a lady), the term is ubersexual was introduced. Huh? These are men who: are stylish, respect women, are passionate, confident, treat women as equals, are NOT self absorbed, know the difference between right and wrong, and stay loyal to their wives and sweethearts ......Wow, sounds great to me. I would say they have class. Now read those qualifications again, because here are the TOP TEN Ubersexuals in the world. (In order, according to the book) Click Here To View....Unbelievable..... (I am sure glad it is not about power or money or petty things like that)

Mr. Floatie Drops Out Of Mayor Race!!
More sad news. Mr. Floatie, the guy who dresses up like raw sewage has decided to drop out of the Mayor's race in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. Mr. Floatie goes around to public events trying to bring about awareness of the city's policy of dumping raw sewage into the nearby waters. (a very worthy cause, I would say) Mr. Floatie dropped out of the race when it was discovered that only REAL people can run for political office. So a Spiderman or Luke Skywalker could not, you need to be real. Mr. Floatie then flushed his political ambitions. Sorry about that.  (Ok, is this like Superman not wanting to expose his true identity?) "Hi, Honey, I have a new job....."

The Tryon University Poll
 (about as accurate as anything else out there)

The Des Moines School District Bans Junk Food In Schools
Students are not happy, no soda? Now what is the definition of junk food? and who will enforce this? What's the penalty?

Pluto May Not Be A Planet
Scientists are changing the definition of what is a planet and Pluto is in trouble. They also discovered another planet that will fit the definition, it is farther out, way past Pluto. It is currently being called Xena or Planet X.

Communist China Passes A Law Banning Car Pooling
Huh? Are not most places trying to encourage car pooling? Not mainland China, people are car pooling to avoid the gasoline taxes and riding busses which means less money for the government and WE CANNOT HAVE THAT.

The Ozone Hole Is Shrinking
Some are saying it shows regulations work and others are saying they are a waste of time, it is nature. The press is not reporting this, however. I would call it good news, but I am not a science guy.

Lions Eat Over 20 In African Village
A pride of lions have killed over 20 villagers in the last few weeks. Ethiopia if I remember correctly. Wow, I think I saw a movie about this once. The Ghost And The Darkness? or was it The Lion King, Simba's Revenge?

Los Angeles Is Trying Out Talking Parking Meters
To make sure people put those coins in. The old parking tax trick. "Hey, You!! Where's The Dough?"

New Study: Men Wash Their Hands Less Than Women
A video was set up during a football game in the restrooms (legal?) and men wash their hands 25% of the time and women 90%.....Popcorn? Honey?

A New Lie Detector Claims 99% Accuracy!
It measures the amount of brain activity. When you lie, you think more....hmmmmm

Fidel Castro Says He Could Have Saved New Orleans From Katrina......
Ok, don't laugh. Last fall a hurricane was heading toward Cuba and he went to the beach and yelled at the hurricane and it missed Cuba. It was heading toward his home town. That's a true story that was reported in the Cuban newspapers. Well, it was reported in the Cuban newspapers.

Some want to change the Red Cross to the Red Crystal
They say the cross is a religious symbol (no kidding?) and it attracts violence in some areas.

Burger King Pulls The Lid On It's Ice Cream
The plastic top of their ice cream cups appears to some to be an inscription for "Allah", which is strictly forbidden in the Muslim world. After threats of a boycott, they have decided to pull it. It is a picture of a spinning ice cream cone, but when view upside down, it has a different message. Which reminds me.....Did you know some think the Iowa Tiger Hawk logo looks like Fred Flintstone when you flip it over? Believe it or not....

Russia Freezes Gas Prices
The Russian government froze the price of gasoline in Russia. This never works. It will create more shortages, help the black market criminals make large sums of money and when the freeze is lifted the price will go sky high. If it worked, the government would set the price of all products.

Ringo Starr (Beatles talented drummer?) had his boyhood home in Liverpool, England, taken down and stored for historical reasons.

NASA says it will send 4 astronauts to the moon by 2018.
The rocket alone will cost 104 billion dollars, Wow, that's just the rocket.

Germany has banned smiles on passports.
They say it is an unnatural pose.

Communist China is cracking down on spitting and urinating in public.
They are getting ready for their hosting of the Olympic games.

Off the coast of California, 15 angry sea lions sank a 1910 sailboat,
that Jerry Dunlap spent years refinishing. It was the first time he took his pride and joy out.

A 50 year old lady was arrested for taking free jellybeans.
I said FREE, not three. The jelly bean jar on the table had a sign that said, "Free, Help Yourself", so she did. She took the entire jar. A security camera caught her and she was arrested. Geeze.

Michael Jackson Writes A Song For Katrina Victims
So far no producers or recording companies will produce it. His career is not real hot right now.

Worst Story Of The Year?
A German Inventor Creates New Fuel For His Vehicle
He uses dead cats........It's cheaper than diesel. He uses a formula of used tires, weeds and animal cadavers. He calls it Bio Fuel........20 cats per tank......He has used this fuel for over 70,000 miles......geeze

.Ok, this is almost as bad:
A Rumanian School Is Told To Remove Human Cadaver
The school has been told by health officials that they can no longer use a REAL human cadaver/skeleton to teach Anatomy. .....the cadaver is a former headmaster (teacher/principal).....they have been using it for 50 years....He put in his will that he would like to leave his body to the the school for students to work on......People are afraid to remove it because some say a curse was put on anyone who removes the former headmaster.

Gillette Comes Out With A 5 Bladed Razor
To compete with the top selling Schick 4 blade, Gillette comes out with a 5 blade one. I wonder what they will be like in another few years? 8,10,12?

A farmer from South Dakota (I think) Plows His Land To Say "Kathy, Will You Marry Me?"
He flew Kathy over the farm to show it to her.........but he spelled it wrong........it said, "Kathy Will You Mary Me?"....Well, nice effort. He said he did not have room for all of the letters.

A Vermont man was caught killing red squirrels......just red ones.....he was shooting them, then leaving them in front of a supermarket....A security camera caught him after he left 15 dead ones in front of the store.....When asked why he did it? He said, "I wanted to show people I could succeed."

In an effort to raise money for Katrina victims, a school in Ohio started a program called "Stop The Bop" They are playing the same song over and over and over again. At every opportunity, hall passing, lunch, before and after school etc. The Principal said he would only stop the music when the school got enough money in donations ($3000).........It is working pretty well, students are sick of it and no it is not a Yoko song.....The song is MMM Bop by Hanson. (I probably have that wrong)

Science Report.....Babies Cry In The Womb....

The military is getting a new combat vehicle....
it is designed by NASCAR!

WAL-MART is now being sued on 4 continents.
Main problem is worker benefits. (no unions) Gosh, if they leave, there go the jobs. They are not being sued by employees but by unions and other officials.

A Communist Chinese company is using the skin of dead prison inmates to make cosmetics.......

The Des Moines city council voted themselves a 13% pay increase.....it's a beautiful thing....

Some of the insurance companies told Katrina victims that they will pay for storm damage, but not floods.
Didn't the storm cause the flood? I am confused.....

You no longer are suppose you use the term gingerbread man
....it should be gingerbread person.......

An American World War Two soldier's last letter home....finally arrived this month....it was sent May 8, 1944...it was delivered to his sister, his parents have died. The soldier died a few days after writing the letter.

There were 16,137 murders in the United States last year!
That is a 5 year low and the lowest murder rate in 40 years.....Gosh, sounds a little high? or is it just me?

A smoker, who promised to quit smoking, starting Nov. 1......died in a house fire she caused by her lit cigarette.

Clint Eastwood will make 2 movies about Iwo Jima this year.
One is call Flags, about the raising of the flag a top Mt. Suribachi and the other is currently called Lambs Before The Wind. (They may change the name) It is about the battle from the Japanese point of view.

A man is seeking help for being addicted to text messaging.
He was sending 700 per week and 8000 last month.

Archaeologists In China found a bowl of noodles that were 4,000 years old.
Thus proving that the Chinese invented pasta before the Italians. The Chinese claim Marco Polo brought pasta to Italy.

McDonald's is trying a Shrimp Burger to improve sales in Japan.

President Bush's Poll numbers are REALLY low!!
The presidency is in serious trouble!!! His job approval rating is 41.7%, his lowest ever...another poll has it at 39%!!!
Oh, they forgot to mention that the last 7 presidents had the following lows:
Lyndon Johnson's 35%
Richard Nixon 24%
Gerald Ford 37%
Jimmy Carter 28%
Ronald Reagan 35%
George H Bush 29%
Bill Clinton 37%
Ok, maybe the story could be how Bush's numbers are by far the highest? So like, who cares about the poll numbers, anyway, he isn't running for president again. Depends how you look at it, I guess.

Sylvester Stallone Announces He Will Make Rocky 6!! .........Yo Adrian...
Stallone is 60 years old. Is he gonna fight George Foreman?

An 8 year old South Dakota girl donated her tooth to the Katrina Relief Fund.
She put the tooth into an envelope and sent a note hoping the tooth fairy will give the money.

A Florida python almost died after eating a turkey.
His stomach was expanded as he was digesting it and the snake got stuck in a fence. Can snakes back up? This actually happened to me one Thanksgiving afternoon. Believe it or not.

Chewbacca Becomes American Citizen!!
Wow, I guess creatures from other planets can someday vote? Don't you have to be a citizen of Earth first?

3 New volcanoes are steaming in Alaska.

A 31 year old man was caught breaking into a school at 8:15 a.m. on a Sunday morning.
He was only wearing his underwear. In the hallway, there was his wallet with his ID, a pile of clothes and a bucket of urine.......They think he was downloading pornography.

A man zapped his step daughter in the neck with a shock collar.
He said he did it because she ate her breakfast too slow.

An Arkansas mother just gave birth to her 16th child.

Stephen Spielberg has a new invention for getting people to start going to the movies again.
He cannot explain it because the patent has not been approved, but said you will be able to view the movie from six directions. Front, Back, Left, Right, Up and Down.....Wow....Can you imagine the big shoot out scene?

Iowans pay the lowest automobile insurance rates in the nation.

Did You Know?
The United States was the only nation in the Western Hemisphere that had to go to war to end slavery. All of the other nations who had slavery were able to end it peacefully.

Mexico City is being terrorized by a serial killer.
The guy dresses in women's clothes, then breaks into homes of the elderly and beats them to death. He has killed 37.

During World War Two, the German army were masters at setting mines and traps.
They would set explosives to flags, lugars, all sorts of souvenirs, etc. It has just been revealed that they were also working on: Chocolate Bombs (candy bars that would explode) Plus Exploding: cough drops, tins of plums, batteries, shaving brushes, coal and stuffed dogs!
Stuffed dogs? Geeze, a new low? The Germans were trying to undermine the USA's effort to win over the hearts and minds of the kids and citizens. 

Mikael Gorbachev says Russia is not yet ready to bury Lenin. Gorbachev is the last communist leader of Russia and Lenin was the first. Lenin died January 21, 1924. You may still view his body today. It currently lies in state in a glass coffin and is a big tourist attraction. Isn't it about time to bury the poor guy? Oh, one of Lenin's last wishes was to be buried in a cemetery with a small marker.......some day, when Russia is ready, I guess.

Pictures In The News
(Click to enlarge)